This weekend had looked to be quite promising: time with family, beautiful fall weather, and even some serious face time with my computer to catch up on sessions and orders. However, I got the sickness. Again. Since the sniffling-sneezing-coughing-aching-stuffy head-fever-so-you-can-rest medicine gives me the jitters (and I’ve been trying to take less to no medication in general), I’ve been stocking up on chamomile tea, Ramen, Kleenex, and Chap-stick (hey, whatever makes you feel better, right?!). What I felt like doing was watching a Brothers & Sisters marathon with a heat pad and Popsicles, but…I had work to do. So I edited. I uploaded. I blogged. I surfed. I emailed. I Facebooked. I texted. I scheduled…I became disheartened.
Am I complaining? Absolutely not.

One of my favorite teachers in high school had two signs on his classroom door that I often think about to this day; ‘Your mother does not live here’ (which is just funny to me…) and ‘Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.’ I hate excuses and I hate even more when I have to resort to using them. But, really, I’m the only one to blame when I’m feeling unsettled about this business. Ah, the perks of being an entrepreneur. Because of an over-scheduled, over-productive, over-vacationed and under-scheduled work/sick/sleep/life-time in August, I was slammed this weekend with catch up work. Frustrated that I did this to myself and that my photography was beginning to feel more like a chore than a passion…I had to take a moment this afternoon and walk away from the work area…and headed toward the kitchen.

As I pounded out the crust of my soon to be apple frisee (have I mentioned that I bake when I’m upset?), I tried to get to the bottom of why I’ve been feeling so anti-climatic and un-colored when I reach for Mark or open my laptop. Like most problems…I had to think back to the beginning.

I decided to begin my own business mainly, to be my own boss. The thought of having to take creative initiative from someone higher up on the fiscal ladder than me seemed like an absolute nightmare. Punching a time card, cubicles, office talk…no thanks. I like to work when I want to work–which is usually very late or very, very early–and when I’m ready to kick it into high gear, on my own terms, is when I do my absolute best. It’s my own personal golden hour. I want to be inspired and inspiring. I want to grow in my knowledge and experiences and enrich myself with new endeavors, techniques and equipment. I’m finding this to be quite hard when I’m stuck, indoors, in front of this screen. It was somewhere between slicing my the last of the apples and pinching up the buttery crust when I finally figured it out.

One of my photo professors in college also had a sign on his door; ‘do what you need to do to get it done.’

Although I didn’t like that particular professor much, he certainly has a point.

To preserve my true passion and for the sake of my sanity, I have come to a conclusion. For the next six months, I will be taking a very limited number of sessions. Hopefully, this will give me more time to devote to truly honing my skills and giving better attention to my clients and to myself. Not to mention letting me actually enjoy my engagement and planning for our own wedding! 😉

With my new schedule, I have a few openings left in September, a couple in October as well as some in November. Shoots in December and January will be very, very few in light of the holidays and the upcoming nuputials. All weekends from now until February are booked. Christmas card orders must be placed by Thanksgiving (oh, yeah, I’m already pumped for Christmas!)…otherwise, everything will be business as usual.

I have the greatest clients ever and I sincerely hope you all understand. It’s in the spirit of full disclousure why I’m even thinking of sharing all this with you. If these next few months go as planned, I’ll have excellent customer service, actually be able to return my phone calls and emails in a timely manner and be able to not feel guilty for enjoying an afternoon off. Next year…will be different, but for now, this is what I need to do.

Speaking of awesome clients, check out this little delight…and to think we just happened to stumble upon this location…love!

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